Engineering Commando to the Rescue!!!

So I was dropped a bomb to handle last Wednesday. I have to go to the US and Canada to install a couple of systems. Customer Care and Field Support are bogged down. Not my job, but, hey, everyone's gotta pitch in and lend a hand, don't they?
So I was all set to fly out on the 10th or 11th of June. It gave me a week to get ready. Just enough time. Time for what? Learning what the hell I was going to do. You see, I've never installed these type of systems before. In fact, some elements in these systems were never installed before. Certainly not in these versions which are brand new.
By the time Thursday rolled by, I was already flying out on the 7th.
OK, only three days. Not a problem. I can do it. I'll have to rally people up to help me a bit, but we're still cool.
Hey, at least I get to be in Canada and Wisconsin which I never visited before. Small towns, Hamilton outside of Toronto and Madison, just north of Chicago. Not quite your regular tourist traps, but that's alright.
But all this is not the point.
The point is that I am, effectively, temporarily on loan to the sales and support department. I have always had the satisfaction at my job of actually making something. It's not like carving stone or casting iron, but writing software does produce something at the end. Something that does something someone needs. I have always assumed that the sales and customer support and care departments don't really produce anything. Not that they don't work hard. They do. They're the ones bringing the money in. They just didn't actually make anything.
Or so I thought.
I was wrong.
They do produce.
A lot.
Mountains upon mountains of paperwork.
Volumes of e-mails going back and forth.
I have been CCed all the correspondences about my two sites over the fast two days and have received upwards of thirty mail messages and about fifteen documents. POs, SOWs, Quoting Tool, and something called channel Partner/Dealer Information form. I am sure that, just like me, you are wandering what all these things are. I have no idea!

A to B: "When are you coming...?" asks the first message.
B to A, cc C: "We are arriving at X...?" answered B.
A: "At Y...?" This is an e-mail message, not a phone, what's unclear about X?
B: "No, X"
C: "I like X."
A: "You sure you wouldn't like Y?"
B + C: "X is the date."
D: "I need you to be here on Z". Now, D is the customer. Why didn't anyone ask him beforehand?
B: "Oh, then I guess we'll be there at Z."
A: "But wouldn't Y be better?"
C: "Y is not an option. The customer wants it on the Z"
B: "We can be there on Z."
A: "Maybe we should try and work it out that we still arrive on X?"
B+C: "Z is fine. If that's when D wants it, then that's it."
A: "Oh...."
And the conversations go on and on:
A to B: "Our engineer has to talk to the customer."
B to A: "In addition, your engineer has to talk to the customer."
A to B: "We have to set up a conference to introduce him to the customer."
B to A: "Maybe we should have a conference to introduce the engineer to the customer?"
A to B: "We should talk about it."
B to A: "Let's have a conference with the engineer and work out what he needs."
A to B: "He would probably like to talk to the customer."
B to A: "Hmm, maybe that's not such a bad idea. Maybe he should talk to the customer?"
Engineer: Blows own Brains out.

That has been the content of my Inbox for the last few days.
If they're thinking I'm filling out all these forms, they are mad.
If they are thinking I'm participating in the sixteen conference calls they set up since Thursday, they are stark barking mad.
It looks like I'm actually going take this on and go through with the whole thing.
I must be a raving lunatic!